Thursday, July 29, 2004
WHEN IN DOUBT, SHUT YOUR MOUTH (??)
i am still stuck here in my room, still sick, still unable to venture out that much. though i am getting better, i guess i just dun want to take too many risks lest i get a second viral attack. :O neways, staying here in my room has it's pluses too... not to mention i get to sleep as much as i want. :) just a while ago i was looking through some pictures and reading some letters i have received as well as some of my fren's blogs. i suddenly realized how much of our thoughts can be expressed in pen (or via the keyboard for that matter). so much so that it frightened me a little.
how much exactly of what we write down or say to the other person are things that we DO mean and not just some silly foolishness that is written down at the spur of the moment? i mean, i was looking at some of the stuff that were written in these letters (names won't be mentioned for obvious reasons), and can't help but wonder; if i showed this letter to the person who wrote it to me... whether she/he would still agree with what she/he wrote or would it be an embarassment for them to look back now on that time when it was written? at that moment i thought it was pretty amusing until i suddenly realized that i have written numerous stuff and given them away over time. would i be embarassed if i saw what i wrote during that moment in time? perhaps.
and since i am a rather expressive person (in terms of emotions), i probably wrote down a lot of gibberish that i DID mean or that WAS true at the time of writing, but may well have changed over time. and since things that are written down are always harder to erase from memory than verbal messages, have i then been wrong thus far by sharing my thoughts, my emotions, and feelings with others? is it a simple case of shutting up and storing up whatever emotions u have inside? i believe Bob once told me he thinks i reveal too much of myself too others too soon... especially when they don't know me well enough. I think he is right in that sense... but how else are these people gonna know us if not through us telling them about ourselves?? Or is there truly a limit to friendliness? All i know is there ARE some things i have said or written that i now regret saying or writing... not least of all because i no longer hold the same opinion or think or feel the same way... but can't take back what i have written. i don't want to be seen as a freak... nor am i a hopeless romantic in reality.. rather i am just confused and frustrated by my own over-expressiveness.
i am still stuck here in my room, still sick, still unable to venture out that much. though i am getting better, i guess i just dun want to take too many risks lest i get a second viral attack. :O neways, staying here in my room has it's pluses too... not to mention i get to sleep as much as i want. :) just a while ago i was looking through some pictures and reading some letters i have received as well as some of my fren's blogs. i suddenly realized how much of our thoughts can be expressed in pen (or via the keyboard for that matter). so much so that it frightened me a little.
how much exactly of what we write down or say to the other person are things that we DO mean and not just some silly foolishness that is written down at the spur of the moment? i mean, i was looking at some of the stuff that were written in these letters (names won't be mentioned for obvious reasons), and can't help but wonder; if i showed this letter to the person who wrote it to me... whether she/he would still agree with what she/he wrote or would it be an embarassment for them to look back now on that time when it was written? at that moment i thought it was pretty amusing until i suddenly realized that i have written numerous stuff and given them away over time. would i be embarassed if i saw what i wrote during that moment in time? perhaps.
and since i am a rather expressive person (in terms of emotions), i probably wrote down a lot of gibberish that i DID mean or that WAS true at the time of writing, but may well have changed over time. and since things that are written down are always harder to erase from memory than verbal messages, have i then been wrong thus far by sharing my thoughts, my emotions, and feelings with others? is it a simple case of shutting up and storing up whatever emotions u have inside? i believe Bob once told me he thinks i reveal too much of myself too others too soon... especially when they don't know me well enough. I think he is right in that sense... but how else are these people gonna know us if not through us telling them about ourselves?? Or is there truly a limit to friendliness? All i know is there ARE some things i have said or written that i now regret saying or writing... not least of all because i no longer hold the same opinion or think or feel the same way... but can't take back what i have written. i don't want to be seen as a freak... nor am i a hopeless romantic in reality.. rather i am just confused and frustrated by my own over-expressiveness.
yeongest 4:53 pm