An Endless Stream of Consciousness

"All that is gold does not glitter,
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king."

The Lord of the Rings, "Fellowship of the Ring"

Monday Blues

It's Monday again. Can anyone tell me why time goes by this fast during the weekends? it's so unfair. you spend a whole week in the office waiting for the weekend to come, and when it does it leaves you with just about enough time to spend with your family and friends and none for yourself before the ol' weekly routine starts again. oh well, at least now we only have 5 day work weeks :) guess it is more or less a consolation. and it's just 34 more working days that i have to endure before this internship's over. well, it isn't that bad to be honest. But i guess i really want to relax and enjoy myself again (if that's possible) before i go in for full time national service.

Sunday

Sunday was just as it usually was. Except this Sunday we had a nice family breakfast on our patio to discuss our family goals, vision and mission in life stuff. Sounds kinda boring normally eh, but believe it or not, i found it really rewarding and enriching since it's been too long a time since our entire family sat down to have this kind of talk. After PM Lee's speech last week, i guess you could say our family is really "guai1" in conforming to his request! lol.

went to mass service at church at 1215. couldn't find my mom at first cuz i had to go to the loo and when i came back she was gone. when i did find her and i took my seat, i was rather pleasantly surprised cuz i ended up sitting directly behind one of my ex-catechism classmates. in fact it'd prob be fair to say that she was the first girl i ever had a crush on (like back when i was 11 or 12 i think). neways, didnt really get to talk to her cuz it'd be rude to do that during mass, but she did recognize me. :) felt a little sheepish cuz she was sitting with her mom and i was sitting with mine, like we were both small kids like dat. lol. neways, mass was unusually long, cuz there was a special rite of catechumenate (??) thingee plus this guest speaker, who took the liberty to stretch the service for an extra half hr.

A Referee who "knows" the Rules?

in the pm after lunch, i went to yishun and finally played my debut match for boon keng's team. we played against this team that was largely made up of indians and one or two malays. needless to say some of them were rather skilfull, and we found ourselves 2-0 down within the first 5 minutes of the game, albeit through horrible defending. but by half time we were back on level terms 2-2 with me setting up a goal for my strike partner james, and him returning me the favour for a goal myself. then in the second half james went on a scoring frenzy and added a hattrick to make it 5-3 at fulltime. There were a few moments of madness though, but thankfully it did not grow into any full scale fights. for instance james did a bicycle kick in the first half and almost kicked lumps out of one of their defender's head. it goes without saying that the guy and his team weren't pleased at all.

What was the most interesting fact of the day though, was that the referee for the game kept blowing for offsides against our team when more than half of them were onside. I spent half of the first half arguing with him about how the offside rule works. He claims "as long as u start behind the defender when the ball is played and end up in front of him" then you are offside. So there you go. A referee with his own version of the offside rule. I had little doubt that if he knew the REAL rules we would've scored at least 3 or 4 more. Can't complain tho i guess. He is a nice ol' chap. and we did win. I just hope he won't be ref at any of our important games.

Past my Prime in Soccer? Or Just a Victim of Circumstance?

We UT guys had our friendly match with BK's team on Sunday. and we lost 3-1. needless to say it was another game i'll want to forget in a hurry. Our team just wasn't good enough, period. I realize I have been quite a bit of an alibi freak. The very kind of person I used to loathe. The type of guy who would blame failure or poor performance on everything else except himself. I could cite the fact that we were missing numerous players, Hafidz, Rosita, Yuandong, Deyuan, Kangwei etc so much so that Thad had to bring in a couple of his frens. Also everyone on our team was rather attack minded and we had no defence. Or i could also state the fact that i've been sick for 3 weeks and not yet recovered when i was asked to play under the scorching hot orb which we call the sun. I could blame it on the fact that i have been working and not getting as much exercise and hence my stamina has suffered compared to the rest of my frens. But none of these can make me feel even a tiny bit better. You see, I am my own biggest critic. Every misplaced pass, every missed chance, every poor touch... I am the one who's the most disappointed. It finally hit me that the same friends who used to come to me for advise on soccer and for encouragement are surpassing me in many areas. And since i've come back to Sg i just havent had a decent game to show for. Am i too harsh on myself? Or am i truly past it?

Monday: Day Off from Work

Went to CMPB to have my ENT medical review on Monday. As it turns out, my hearing is normal. For whatever weird reason, the first time around the audio tests conducted seem to point out that i have a hearing problem. This time around, although i didn't feel any different, the testers said my hearing is normal on their machine, so as yet i am still confused as to why I had to come back for the review. Not to forget that as a result of this gaffe I've had to wait an extra 7 weeks, postponing my enlistment date. Despite being otherwise fine in every area of my medical, they still classified me under PES B rather than A, the medic citing under sports history the torn ankle ligaments i suffered in 1997 as the reason. well, good thing is at least i don't have to downgrade, i can still partake in regular national service and still qualify for Officer Cadet School if I were selected. Am still not sure of my enlistment date, but more and more of the ppl i've met have already started asking: "so when are you enlisting?" or "when are you going in for NS?" etc.

Met up with YD @ Holland V. in the p.m. for tea. We chatted for like 3 plus hours at Delifrance. Quite scary how us guys can be so chatty eh. neways, he's heading back to T.O. next week with his sis and they're gonna move into our apartment at (3 minus 2) Park Lane. :P Was complaining about furniture moving and stuff. Funny guy that buddy of mine, but i guess that's what makes us click.

Bad Dreams

Woke up this morning from a rather unpleasant sleep. Dreamt about "you know who" which was rather weird considering the fact that I no longer feel anything towards her and I have let this issue go for a long time now. I guess there prob was smthg or some feeling that was still surpressed inside me. Some sort of frustration at the situation or state of our friendship perhaps. Was thinking whether I should send a note of apology for messing up our friendship with what i did. But then i changed my mind cuz i realized in her mind it'd prob be more like "what friendship? there never was any between us."

I'm at work on a Saturday morning. Can somebody tell me why? I guess only my boss can... lol. i guess it's not too bad cuz i'm only working on alternate sats. since moving to the 27th floor, our office has been a pretty "happening" place. I mean it's slightly more open so there's less privacy than when we were on the 18th floor but now i get to share my workspace with 3 cool colleagues o'mine... Amelia, Nicole, and Evelyn. They Evelyn even plays live radio music from her desk so work kinda gets less boring ard here. lol. dunno if we're allowed to do that tho. they have so many strict rules here. Not that anyone enforces them! haha.

neways it's pretty cool today cuz both my bosses aren't around...plus i am done with the assignments they gave me liao so i'm just gonna spend the rest of the morning surfing the net and catching up on "the hobbit" which i brought along. *hiakz hiakz* I'm going for my medical review at CMPB next monday so I'll have that day off. and since next sat i don't have to work it's just a 4 day work week for me next week! yeah baby! :P Can't wait to play soccer with my UofT buddies this weekend one last time before some of them head back. gonna be sad to see them leave tho. dunno why we haven't had much chance for everyone to meet up since we got back. prob cuz we have our own group of pals we need catching up with :) neways, i hate the FLU. been sick for 3 weeks and still not recovered. been coughing, sneezing, and having a runny nose for so long liaoz.

gotta start remembering to go down to the traffic police station to convert my license. I've gotten their approval more than 2 weeks ago but i've either forgotten or been too lazy to do that.

Had a rather depressing evening last nite. First I had to stay in slightly over time at work to attend this GES meeting with other companies. Namely "Zenith Corporation", the organizers of GES 2004. During the meeting I kept receiving calls on my cellphone from various numbers that I didn't recognize. I kept rejecting the calls as i thought they were from some friends and since i thought it would be rude to interrupt a meeting. We finished ard 730pm and then i met up with my dad and mom for a doctor's appt. and dinner.

While i was waiting for my turn at the doctor's i received another phone call, and it turned out to be from the office of the Principal of Assumption English Sec School. They apparently tried to reach me earlier in the day and managed to get a hold of my handphone number from my sis. apparently they wanted to hire me as a teacher till the end of the year cuz one of their teachers has left early for maternity leave. I guess i just felt sad that i had to turn down this wonderful opportunity to teach since I already presently have a commitment with EDB. What was worse was that the lady on the phone, the English HOD, i believe, was very nice and even offered me a chance to teach there next year. So i felt even worse when i told her i may already be in the army by then. It made me wonder why the timing of some things just have to be this way. Felt very depressed when i learned that the other phonecalls i received during my earlier meetings in the day were from other schools looking for a teacher as well. I mean EDB is definitely a more prestigious job, and would look better on my CV. But on the other hand I really love to teach. I guess some may find me dumb to think like this, but I guess i just like the chance to interact with people more. Anyway, I have to get back to work. Boss is calling me.

i'm bored as hell... turns out that both Genevieve and Pauline didn't come to work today. one is on leave and the other is on MC, so i really have nothing to do here right now. i even went ard just now and tried asking if anyone has anything they need help with. but everyone seems to be handling their own stuff pretty well. which spells boredom for me. i really wish there was some solution to this dilemna. maybe next time i shld bring a book along to read. maybe i can bring along "the hobbit"! kinda stopped on chapter 3 after gandalf helped bilbo and the dwarfs get rid of the 3 trolls. haven't had the chance to pick it up and continue since then. but maybe if this is how work is gonna be like for the next period of time i shld do that.

bumped into dan e man yesterday at NUS while playing soccer with my bro-in-law. he was playing with his own group of frens. kinda funny cuz he has this distinctive voice. so when i heard someone shouting and ordering his teammates ard i immediately thought it reminded me of daniel. little did i know that it INDEED was dan. when i looked and saw a corny guy dressed in his JC shirt no. 13 with the huge words EGO imprinted on the back. it just had to be Dan. lol. neways man utd lost their opening game 1-0 to chelsea yesterday. i shall avoid treading onto that topic since i have nothing nice to say about it. except that the united team were "shite" in their finishing. especially "Diego F**kin' Forlan", who ends up on his ass half the time. Fergie is nuts to want to keep this guy. alrightey. my colleague is finally sending me something to do. thank god!

TODAY: Updated the photo gallery. Pictures from Jakarta Trip and meetings with friends have been added.

TODAY

Phew! First day at work today. Had to wake up early and come to Raffles City Tower. So tired just now... *yawnz* Right now is lunch hour so get to do a bit of surfing :P Had lunch with the project manager Pauline just now... she was so nice.. even treated me to lunch tho i insisted on paying for my own share. She had two sisters who went to study in Toronto a while back as well. Anyways so far so good. Everyone here seems to be so amicable and helpful, which is great cuz i am kinda ignorant with minimal experience... *bleah* I have to say it is a largely female working environment so far tho. hmmz... only met 2 guy colleagues so far. some more my desk is situated in the midst of females. yikes! no more corny jokes for johnny. what a sad thought. :'(

I have been posted as an intern under corporate group (CSD/Marketing Communications). Kinda cool cuz i had to read through lots of documents that i had to sign (i.e. secrecy act etc.) cuz i am "technically speaking" working for the govenrment... so i'll have to shut up more often from now on i guess :P also got issued my own access card to access certain levels and rooms in the building. As well as my own desk and PC. i also get free one month's membership to the gym at Raffles. not a bad deal eh? hiakz. gotta nail down my working hours tho. they said closer to the day of the event (Global Entrepolis Singapore 2004) I'll need to stay in after hours but in the mean time I hope i get regular work hours.

YESTERDAY (Tues 10 Aug)

had my haircut at holland v. as usual didn't really get to cut it short since i thought i'll have plenty of time to enjoy really short hair once army starts. but it is a lot neater looking now i guess. optimal for working i should say :) met up with nicki for lunch... went to Scotts food court and then we caught a movie at Lido. Watched a martial arts/romance film "house of flying daggers" featuring Andy Lau and Zhang Ziyi. For Nicki i guess what mattered most was "takeshi aka Jin Chen Wu" lol. The movie was alrite i guess... action was good... cinematography was good. plot was erm... so so. i found that halfway through the movie it became a bit repetitive. but it was alright overall. went to coffee bean after for a cup of "berry'd treasure"... yummy! went home and then over to bro-in-law's house for dinner. realized that it's been a long time since i saw his family. they are as nice as ever tho. and aunty's cooking is still delicious! then we went to the airport to pick up mom and jie.

THE WEEKEND

spent the weekend in jakarta, visiting relatives. saw grandma again and some of my cousins.. mostly the male ones. cuz the gals are all over the place. did lots of shopping with my mom and sis on some really cheap stuff (DVDs, games, working clothes, shoes, sports gear etc). can't believe how cheap some of the stuff were. neways, what stood out the most from this first trip of mine to Jakarta in over 3 years is probably i) the horrifying indo traffic; ii) the numerous mosquito bites which i got. i guess i can't complain tho cuz i did get to spend some quality family time with my mom, sis, and bro-in-law. also had BBQ @ uncle cung's house and watched the charity shield match over there. can't believe man utd's squad is sooo depleted now. when will we ever get the lucky break in terms of injuries and call-ups at the start of the season? sigh.. needless to say they lost 3-1. a match the gunners deservedly won i guess.. tho i hate to say so. i love alan smith. and i hate chris eagles!! what an irritating sight to see him squander possession time and time again. oh well, i guess it's easy to get ticked off when ur team is losing. came back to sg a day earlier (than my mom and sis) with my bro-in-law cuz i thought resting for a day before work starts would be a good idea.

Interview successful. I'm hired. I start work next Wednesday (the day after i return from Jakarta). Working hours are not 9-5 however. Since i will be on a team working on a project for the next 2 months @ EDB, helping them prepare for a major event coming up on the 15th October, I may have to work overtime frequently. As this involves International clients from mainly China and India, it is something they don't want to disappoint in. Hence I feel a bit sien despite this success. Perhaps it's the realization that I have lost my freedom to slack for the next period of time.

This can only be a positive experience however so I intend to make the most of it. My first real step out there in the business/working world. It's with a well recognized government company as well, so I can't complain. Oh well, time to head for bed. Then tom will spend the day packing and in the evening we're off to Jakarta. Time really doesn't wait for anyone. Where have my carefree days as a student gone now??

received a phone call today from EDB (singapore economic development board) for a job interview tomorrow at raffles city tower @ 345pm. pretty big thing for me even if it's just the chance to get an internship. this may finally be my solution to sitting ard and wasting my time away. plus it's a good chance to build up my CV. no matter how intimidated i feel, i'll just give it a shot.

leaving for jakarta in 2 days' time too. not really in the mood for travel but the tickets have already been booked and my family won't take no for an answer, so may as well make full use of the trip to visit my relatives. gonna miss national day weekend and one of the rare chances to meet up with my mates now that school has started for most of them. speaking of school, this sec schoolgirl pal of mine, larissa, has been mssging me everyday for quite some time now. amidst her exams some more. dunno why oso. maybe she gets her academic inspiration from talking to me.. lol...tho i strongly doubt it. funny thing is i never even saw her in real life... one of those ppl from friendster. nicki and yuandong has funny suggestions since i can't figure out what she's up to. oh well... feeling sleepy now. gonna go take a nap.

Quote of the Day: "Own yourself for being who you are, and be responsible for what you do."