An Endless Stream of Consciousness

What the f*** is wrong with me? What's happening to me? Since when did I become such an easily irritable, super annoying, selfish, dishonest assh*le? nothing seems to be going right for me these few weeks. With things piling on top of things, the stress of preparing lots of stuff on time and not screwing up for fear of getting more extra duties-- meaning more of my weekends will be burned.

Never did i realize before coming into NS how much i have taken my freedom for granted. the freedom and time to plan for my own stuff. to hang out with my friends. to spend quality time with my family. i had tonnes load of all this way back when. i have been getting into quite a few arguments and bickers with some ppl around me recently. Find that i am going back to my secondary school days where i was this immature temperamental kid who would get into numerous fights. well, at least i havent resolved to fighting yet. but boy do i feel like bashing someone's head in right now. Guess i haven't been exposed to my violent side for quite some time already.

I am also in a 50/50 situation right now in OCS. Due to a hamstring tendon injury, i was asked by my Medical Officer if i would like to downgrade. I told him a straight answer "no". it's not exactly a serious injury anyways. Only bad thing is that it is likely to reoccur every now and then now that i've got it. will be going for physiotherapy twice a week in camp. hope it helps. god help me... i hate this regimental lifestyle...

Feeling lousy... it's late on Saturday nite and i can't stay up tonite cuz i have to return to camp early tomorrow morning to do Guard Duty. So much for a relaxing weekend I hoped for after field camp this week. But i guess this is part of the price i have to pay for losing my bunk keys. can't believe i could've been that careless. i never ever had any problems with keys till now. guess i'll just have to watch my step when i am in OCS.

Speaking of serving extras, a lot of my buddies got it too from our section field camp this week. For some reason, a lot of things went wrong. one of my buds Jason was charged for N.D. meaning he'll have to serve 14 days RP. feel sorry for him, and afraid that the same could happen to me too in the future if i'm not careful. cuz he really was innocent, but sometimes when u are tired u just lack concentration. *sigh* still can't believe my weekend is almost over. to top it off with the suckiness i have an assignment due and a test on monday when the new week starts. Military Law. Hiakz.

Made an appointment with the Orthopaedician this coming tuesday for a niggling injury i've had over the past month or so. Can't wait to have it assessed. It's bothering me quite a bit in training. Oh well, it's getting late. I'm off to bed.

TO LEAD. TO EXCEL. TO OVERCOME.