Saturday, September 17, 2005
I have just come to realize that my life has been so absorbed by the army that i no longer even know what it feels like to be a civilian anymore. my concerns nowadays all revolve around army life: will i make a good officer? what will training be like next week? are my weekends gonna be burned again? etc etc...
Throughout the time when my friends were in army i used to be the one who reminded them to keep their minds open and to have the ability to see the bigger picture. in the context of their entire life, NS is definitely just a small facet, regardless of how tough or painful it may turn out to be. Yet here I am, complaining week in week out about my life in camp, mourning the miseries that befall life of an officer cadet, who for some reason seem to have the words "Officer Cadet: Tekan Me". As fast as 2 and a half months may sound to be, it still sounds like ages to me. and at this point in time, with Starlight merely 2 weeks away, and all the stress in the world still to come in the next month or so, i sometimes feel rather overwhelmed.
Pray to god that things will turn out well. Pray to god that i will keep a cool had, be calm, and above all, a good leader who motivates my peers when the time comes. But somehow, i feel a lack of security or a lack of belief in my ability to inspire others. Maybe it comes with time. I don't know. Whatever it is, one thing i do know is that i will make full use of my time in SI. In fact, when i look back at most of my time in army, i always miss the days spent as a trainee. I have no doubt this will be the same.
Throughout the time when my friends were in army i used to be the one who reminded them to keep their minds open and to have the ability to see the bigger picture. in the context of their entire life, NS is definitely just a small facet, regardless of how tough or painful it may turn out to be. Yet here I am, complaining week in week out about my life in camp, mourning the miseries that befall life of an officer cadet, who for some reason seem to have the words "Officer Cadet: Tekan Me". As fast as 2 and a half months may sound to be, it still sounds like ages to me. and at this point in time, with Starlight merely 2 weeks away, and all the stress in the world still to come in the next month or so, i sometimes feel rather overwhelmed.
Pray to god that things will turn out well. Pray to god that i will keep a cool had, be calm, and above all, a good leader who motivates my peers when the time comes. But somehow, i feel a lack of security or a lack of belief in my ability to inspire others. Maybe it comes with time. I don't know. Whatever it is, one thing i do know is that i will make full use of my time in SI. In fact, when i look back at most of my time in army, i always miss the days spent as a trainee. I have no doubt this will be the same.
yeongest 11:20 pm